I think there is a general confusion for many of us about what forgiveness is and how it is to be applied in our daily life. The reasons for forgiveness are few, but powerful.
I can’t claim to know what others believe about forgiveness, so I will only address my understanding of the principle. Forgiveness, and the act of forgiving others has generally been considered to be a difficult thing to do. We are in awe of those who are terribly wronged or hurt by someone and promptly forgive that person. By forgiving that person, I mean they let go of the hurt they feel from the injury they perceive they have received.
Hurts we take upon ourselves include such sources as being wrongfully fired from a job, being accused of something we didn’t do, being gossiped about or shunned by others for whatever reason. The list of reasons we feel hurt by the actions of others is very long indeed. If you can think of a way to hurt someone else, it has probably already been done a million times in the history of humankind. These are the things God wants us to let go of, to forgive others for the pain they have caused.
I had a counselor tell me once, long ago, that if you are in a theater and are going in or out of a row of seats and accidentally step on someone’s toes, you may ask for forgiveness, but that doesn’t negate the pain that person feels from having had their toes stepped on. It is that pain the person needs to let go of, and the possible belief that you might just have done it on purpose with the goal of causing them pain. That act of letting go of the offense is forgiveness as we know it. I will talk later about the nature of forgiveness as defined by God. It is a very different thing than the forgiveness we deal with.
Commanded to forgive
In Doctrine and Covenants 64 the Lord gives these instructions regarding the nature of forgiving one another.
8 My disciples, in days of old, sought against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this they were and sorely .
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to one another; for he that not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God between me and thee, and thee according to thy .
12 And him that not of his sins, and them not, ye shall bring before the , and do with him as the saith unto you, either by commandment or by revelation.
13 And this ye shall do that God may be glorified—not because ye forgive not, having not compassion, but that ye may be justified in the eyes of the law, that ye may not him who is your lawgiver—
14 Verily I say, for this cause ye shall do these things.
First let’s look at verse 8.
8 My disciples, in days of old, sought against one another and forgave not one another in their hearts; and for this they were and sorely .
It appears to me from this verse that one of the reasons we don’t forgive others is that we believe we are better than they are. Jesus says his disciples of old “sought occasion against one another.” This is a spirit of judgment for perceived sins in another person, while excusing our own sinful nature. This attitude was rampant in Israel at the time of Christ. To me that seems pretty natural as a part of being human. Jesus openly declares this tendency to be “evil” and worthy of being “sorely chastened.”
Jesus continues in verses 13-14 by telling us the reason why he wants us to forgive others of their offenses against us.
13 And this ye shall do that God may be glorified—not because ye forgive not, having not compassion, but that ye may be justified in the eyes of the law, that ye may not him who is your lawgiver—
14 Verily I say, for this cause ye shall do these things.
Ouch! Jesus says that we don’t forgive others because we don’t have compassion! Not forgiving others offends our lawgiver, who is Christ. He wants us to develop compassion for one another’s shortcomings so “that ye may be justified in the eyes of the law.” Is Jesus saying that those who offend others aren’t actually causing offense? No! He is telling us that those who want to learn to live a celestial law must first learn to accept the sinful nature of those around them, just as they must recognize and deal with their own sinful nature. That is what it means to deal justly with our own humanity.
The greater sin
Did you notice in the first set of verses above that Jesus did not say which sins were worse than others? The seriousness of any particular sin isn’t the issue here. He is stating that it is our unwillingness to be forgiving in our nature that is the more serious sin. It doesn’t matter what sin has been committed by someone else.
9 Wherefore, I say unto you, that ye ought to one another; for he that not his brother his trespasses standeth condemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.
10 I, the Lord, will whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to all men.
11 And ye ought to say in your hearts—let God between me and thee, and thee according to thy .
Why do you think it is a more serious sin for me to be unforgiving of someone else’s sin? Ever thought of that?
The difference in forgiveness
Reading in the New Testament the other day triggered a realization that had a profound impact on me. I finally realized that there is a huge difference between my forgiveness of someone and Christ’s forgiveness of someone. Somehow I had always sort of equated the two kinds of forgiveness. I know that we were forgiving different things, but somehow, since we are using the same word to describe the action, I managed to equate his forgiveness with my own.
When I forgive someone for something, I am only letting go of direct or perceived hurt aimed at me. The person I am supposed to forgive may not have even had me in mind when the act or statement was done. Call this kind of forgiveness practicing tolerance of others. There is no sin for me to forgive, since a sin is a violation of law, and I have made no laws. The offender and I are both under the same obligations by God to obey the same laws. God wants me to be as tolerant about the other person’s humanity as I am hoping God (and my neighbor) will be about my own human nature.
The Lord, on the other hand, did make laws. He has to uphold those laws, and we will be judged on how well we live those laws. When Jesus forgives us, it may be because of our human nature, but it might also be because we violated one of his laws. Hence he says “I, the Lord, will whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to all men.” Jesus paid for the violation of every law given by God, our Father. Forgiving sins is his privilege, and his alone. Only Jesus can forgive a sin.
Too often we mistakenly believe that when someone offends us that they have ‘sinned against us.’ That is not true. No one can sin against us, because we do not make the laws. Any laws that are broken in the act or statement of another is against Christ and God, not us. This is why we are commanded to “forgive” all men, but Christ has the privilege of deciding whom he will forgive.
New Testament forgiveness
What brought up this whole subject for me was week 10 of the Come, Follow Me New Testament lessons for 2023. The chapters are Matthew 8, Mark: 2-4, and Luke 7. In several locations Jesus asks the question, ‘which is more difficult, to forgive a sin or to heal a broken body?’ Just stating that someone’s sins are forgiven can come across as cheap theatrics. Any charlatan can put on a show and declare that our sins are forgiven. So to emphasize that he, Jesus, has the power to forgive sins, he uses his mouth to also heal their body. This demonstrates to us that God’s power is in his words. He speaks and the universe obeys.
So Jesus is presented with someone who is sick with something no one can cure in his time period. He perceives that those in the room don’t believe he is the Messiah (the Christ), so he asks them his rhetorical question of which is easier to do, heal the body or heal the soul. He then proceeds to do both in their presence.
There were also those who came to Jesus with great faith in his abilities. Most were seeking only physical relief from their suffering, but he showed them that he was just as compassionate about their soul as he was about their body. He forgave them of their sins, relieving them of the burdens they were carrying that none but them knew about or felt. This demonstrates to us the very personal and tender nature of our Savior.
Conclusion
Forgiveness is a universal commandment from God to us. For us, forgiveness consists of recognizing that we are all human, and as such do stupid things. We hurt each other, whether intentionally or not. We do things either purposefully or accidentally that causes pain to others. Christ seems to get this all too well, but this is something we have to struggle to learn. The lesson we need to recognize and learn is that we are no better than our neighbor. Just as Christ demands they give us the benefit of the doubt, and let go of our mistakes, so too are we commanded to offer the benefit of the doubt to them, and let go of the mistakes they make. We even have to let go of their deliberate follies. Christ’s payment for all our sins requires that we recognize him as the one and only person qualified to be selective in who is forgiven and who is not.
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The Reasons For Forgiveness
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